Well, Well, Well, You know what time it is Boys & Girls. It’s time for yet another “EPIC” E-Mail from Everybody’s Favorite and NOT SO Favorite Loud Mouth: Yours Truly Marc Bednarczyk.
The Premise for this auspicious occasion is none other than the “Paris Hilton of College Football” Larry “I AM LESS THAN MEDIOCRE” Coker. Not that Coker has got caught taking it on film like “America’s Favorite Slut”, but from the point of view, that he inherited a Wealth of Riches…Lived off of that for years…Now, he CAN’T because he does NOT have the wherewithal and ability to do to do it on his own. Hmmm??? Sound like anybody we know in San Fran. after Bill Walsh’s talent got OLD: George Seifert???
Say it isn’t so. Coker has turned the he University of Miami Football Program all the way back 30 years to the days of Carl Selmer. WHO??? Exactly!!!
You Want Proof??? Here’s the Undeniable Facts Jack.
***Excluding the only victory this season over Division-1 AA Perennial Powerhouse FAMU, ***Coker is 1 & 4 in his last 5 Games.
***In the Canes’ last 5 Losses, the team has Scored ZERO (0) POINTS in the Second Half. Feel Free to call Bill Belichick to see how a “REAL” Coach makes Adjustments at Halftime PAL.
***Coker is 13 & 8 in his last 21 games. 13 & 8 in your last 21 games??? What is this Miami or Prairie View???
***Coker has lost Home Games in November for 3 Straight Seasons.
***Remember in the “Good, Old Days” of Jimmy Johnson & Dennis Erickson when the Canes NEVER lost at Home. Like for an Entire Decade from 1985-1994 with the NCAA’s All-Time Home Win Streak of 58 Games!!! It bears Repeating, but excluding the “MONUMENTAL” Win this Season over 1-Double A FAMU, Coker is 6 & 4 in his last 10 Home Games. The Dude is Barely over .500 at the “FREAKEN” Orange Bowl.
Hey Lamar Thomas, from someone whom never lost a Single Home Game in his Entire Career, how do you like them apples??? Like the rest of the Hurricane Nation, I’m sure you are SICK to your stomach and Absolutely Mortified.
From the staff and players who work with and has worked for Coker, the General Consensus is that he and I do quote: “CAN’T COACH…CAN’T MOTIVATE…CAN’T RECRUIT…CAN’T SELL THE SINGLE MOST SUCCESSFUL COLLEGE FOOTBALL PROGRAM FOR THE LAST 20 YEARS!!!” So, exactly, what can he do??? Better yet, coming off a 3 loss season, why was he given a FIVE-YEAR contract extension to pay in the neighborhood of $2 million per season???
Let’s face it people. What’s the First Thing people say when they Describe Larry Coker??? He’s quote “A NICE GUY”. Therein lies the “Freaken” Problem.
Conversely, when I say what’s the First Thing that comes to your mind when I mention the name BOB STOOPS. Is it safe to say “GREAT COACH”??? I think So. How about Charlie Weis??? Same Thing. How About Urban Meyer?? See where I’m going. Nobody mentions how “NICE” they are when you think of them.
I’d trust Coker with my Money; my Wife (If I was Married); Family; Car; House; and even my Life. I just would NOT trust him with my College, JUCO, High School, or Pop Warner Football teams.
Hey…Every Family has a “FREDO CORLEONE”. At Florida, it was Ron Zook. At Florida State, it IS Jeff Bowden. At Miami, it’s Larry Coker.
And we all know what happened to “FREDO” now, don’t we??? By the way Coach, I’ve got a couple of buddies with some nice boats. I hear the fish are biting on South Beach as we speak.
To the powers the be at the “U.” Do yourselves and the University a “HUGE” Favor. Put Coker and his family once and for all out of their Misery. This debacle has gone on long enough.
At this point, “BRING BACK 2 LIVE CREW’S LUTHER CAMPBELL!!!” Say what you want; say what you will. When “Uncle Luke” was roaming the sidelines, the CANES DOMINATED the College Football World.
DISCLAIMER: The views expressed by Marc Bednarczyk are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of the recipients (ALTHOUGH THEY SHOULD!!!)
Sincerely,
"THEE UNSILENT MAJORITY"
